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I don’t know what it is in me that gives me such a drive to breastfeed. But it’s there. And it’s why we’ve gone through everything we have to keep this nursing relationship alive. I could sit here and spell out every single issue that’s come up (inability to suck, mastitis, surgery, losing supply, oversupply, etc) but reading the words on a page do nothing to show what a difficult, painful journey it has been. It will not make you feel the heartache or experience the failure. So I’m going to spare you the long, drawn out history.

I will tell you that I love nursing my son. And I will do whatever it takes to continue.

Recently, a Twitter friend who was having a lot of breastfeeding troubles posted about her daughter having a maxillary labial frenum and tongue tie. She included pictures, which looked a lot like Jbaby’s mouth. She gave me a lot of very helpful information and talked to me about her own experience. So I sent a few pictures out and got some online opinions about whether or not it would be a good idea to have him checked out. The next step was to contact the LC at the Army hospital here. She told me he was too old for her to be any help, but to contact our pediatrician for a referral to ENT. This did not leave me hopeful. It seems that the only important thing at the clinic is that a baby is gaining weight. I agree, that’s a pretty big deal. But it’s not the only thing that matters!

Our appointment was yesterday, and took all of 5 minutes. The doctor did agree to put in a referral for us, and said it was worth being looked at. But he also made sure to repeat several times that “Everyone is tongue tied.” Sorry, doc, but I’m not concerned about anyone but my son. I don’t care if Suzy Q’s frenulum receded with time. She’s not biting my nipples. I also don’t have to worry about teeth crowding or speech therapy later on for anyone but Jbaby, so I’ll keep my focus on him. Dr. H did mention a little concern about the upper lip tie, saying that an injury to that later in his childhood could cause problems.

It was really disappointing to be told not to hope for much. After all, he’s seven months old and gaining steadily. If ENT refuses to take care of the problem, there are other options. More difficult and expensive options, but that’s ok. The important thing is that we might finally have some relief. Hopefully it will be soon.

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My little bundle of joy is now a chubby, active, crawling baby monster! He has really grown in leaps and bounds this past month. It’s hard to look at him now and imagine that 8lb 6oz Baby Blueberry we brought home. It’s even harder to imagine what our lives were like before he joined our little family.

Before we ever got pregnant, I wanted a girl. J wanted a girl. We even talked about our future “Linzi Marijane” any time we talked about children. And when we found out we were expecting, we of course were hoping for a girl. But, honestly, I just knew it was a boy. When we told our parents, my mom said “It’s a boy.” Still, J held out hope.

Since my husband was scheduled to be deployed for most of the pregnancy, we decided to find out the gender ASAP. We went to a place out in town around 15 weeks. Everyone sent us lots of pink vibes, and we were anxious to see who was right.

It was a boy.

Seven months later, I’m thrilled to have this little man in my life. He’s all over the place and into everything. Sure, there aren’t as many cute boy clothes, but who cares? He’d rather be naked anyway. He’s rough and tumble and mommy’s best friend. He is perfect.

It’s true. He has stolen my heart.