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I am what some might call “dissatisfied” with pretty much every aspect of my life. For some time now I’ve been stuck in a rut. My wheels keep spinning and the rut is getting deeper and it seems like there’s no end in sight.It makes me feel like a terrible mother and even worse wife.

These days I’m working anywhere from 8-10 hour days or even more. I’ve got zero energy and I’m miserable. Having put off higher education to get married the summer after I graduated, move 3 times, have a baby, and work to put money in the jar, I thought getting a degree in Early Childhood Education would be the right choice for me. Wrong. But thanks to two lovely friends who one day suggested a career I’d been thinking about for months, I feel like I might be on the right track now.
I’m currently training to be a postpartum doula, and finishing up this semester of my AS degree to start Breastfeeding Counselor training. New moms and breastfeeding are the two things I’m most passionate about in life. Some day I hope to be a birth/postpartum doula and Breastfeeding Counselor for young and/or low-income mothers. That’s a bit down the road considering I’m still a pretty young mother myself.

But the issue goes beyond just my career and education. I’m overweight. Not morbidly so, but enough that it’s really not healthy for me. More than that, it’s not a good example for my son or fair to my husband. (Not saying my husband has ever or will ever make comments about my weight. Neither of us were overweight when we got married. He’s still in amazing shape, and I’ve let myself go.)
So it’s time for this big mama to hit the ground running! Or at least walking.¬† Eating healthier, watching portion size, and taking the baby out on nightly walks has already helped me lose 3lbs (towards a goal of 35) and made me feel a little better about myself. There’s still a long way to go.

All the frustration¬† in my life has led to me being downright mean. I am not the sweet, bubbly social butterfly I used to be. More like a snarky, rude, miserable old lady. That’s not who I am or who I want to be!

So there it is. My confession. The goal is to change my education, career, attitude, body image, parenting, and marriage.  Time to get it done!

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